Celestial
Hair

Since
the time of classical Greece, philosophers have made repeated
attempts to sort out the relationships among space, time and
light. The Greek mathematician Euclid translated abstract thought
into diagrams that formed a coherent system we know today as
geometry. He began by defining his truths and then proposed
axioms that to him were so obvious they needed no proof. These
became known as postulates. Euclid was known to have formulated
five postulates, the more familiar one stating that parallel
lines will never cross. Recently at an archeological expedition
on the isle of Lesbos, Euclid's sixth and final postulate has
been unearthed: hairstyles of Lesbos defy space and time.
When
lesbians officially decide to come out they subconsciously choose
to wear that particular years hairstyle as a signifier of their
achievement. Once this badge of courage is awarded, time ceases
to exist. The lesbian defies the continuity of time by stubbornly
adhering to her hairstyle beyond its appropriate time span.
This style will undoubtedly follow her to the grave.
One
may ask how Euclids sixth postulate functions in day-to-day
living? Euclid organized space as if its points could
be connected by an imaginary web of straight lines, allowing
space to be mapped into measurable slices. When pilots and sailors
find themselves lost in a fog or at sea, they frequently report
a strange disorientation regarding up, down, front, back, right,
and left. With astronomical charts in hand, they peer through
their sextant, measuring the altitudes of celestial bodies,
from which they can map their longitudinal and latitudinal positions.
If a lesbian should find herself lost in a myriad sea of hair,
careful examination of surrounding coiffure will provide points
of reference from which she can begin assessing her sisters
experience, age socioeconomic standing and favorite pastime
activities. Hair alone can map out ones due course of
action. Much like the stars that never cease to exist, hairstyle
will outlive each and every dyke.